Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.
GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”
The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.
- When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
- Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
- Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
- Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
- Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
- Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
- The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.
Week 1: Here’s your proof for approval!
Week 2: I haven’t heard from you. Here’s the proof again. Did you have any changes?
Week 3: Wanted to check in since I still haven’t heard from you. I’m attaching the proof again just in case.
Week 4: Your order is going to be held up by your approval of the attached image. Please respond as soon as possible.
Week 5: Your order was supposed to ship today, but we still don’t have your approval on the artwork. This will continue to delay your shipment date.
Client: Send me the proof again. I can’t find it.
Time was of the essence.
DM: The bookcase swings open to reveal a dark stairway.
Human Artificer: Guys, we should go slowly. There might be traps.
Warforged Knight: I shove the sac of organs aside and throw myself down the stairs in an attempt to set off any traps.
DM: You arrive at the bottom of the stairs only a little worse for wear. No traps have been set off.
Warforged Knight: IT IS SAFE TO PROCEED MY FLESHY MEATSACK COMPANIONS!
10:24 PM EST
Doctor Who premiere
8:52 PM EST
Korra finale. What a good!!